Torsdag Her i Kobenhavn

Well, today I would like to share you a few cultural experiences. First, riding the subway with an old ticket. Each ticket lasts for 2 hours and costs 17 dkk (a little over $3). Today I just got my morning ticket and rode with it in the afternoon. The plan is to play "dumb foreign guy" if they check the tickets. I know enough French, Spanish, and of course English to be three varieties of dumb foreigner. "Je ne sais pas. Parlez-vous francais? Je parle francais, je suis canadien." "No se. Habla espanol? Hablo espanol." Will see how far the dumb foreigner gets. I figure everyone else free-rides off the wealth and power of the United States enough that I deserve a break.

Next matter is that of the residential bathrooms. I have been in three, and let me just tell you, it is quite the alien experience. First, I want to you to visualize your bathroom, go ahead, take a look if you have to. You have your standard sink and the various sink accessories. In most cases there is some sort of shelving located just behind the mirror. Often you will find one or two towel racks for hanging towels to dry, or perhaps your workout clothes that you don't want to wash everyday. Then of course there is your toilet. Most toilets have the standard handle flush system. Here in Denmark, many of them have two buttons...one for a small flush and the other for a large flush. Its pretty much up to you what kind of flush you use, although certain functions are better suited to one flush or the other of course. I think the Danes want water conservation, so that should be the policy behind your flushing decision-making. Of course, nobody wastes water like Californians...often I just use the big flush to be safe. Sometimes though, if you are feeling particularly adventurous, you may try small flushing what ought to be big flushed. The truth is that the flushes are practically identical (sorry to spoil the excitement).

Now, for the most important matter at hand, we come to the shower (using my public school education, I start a new paragraph whenever I feel like it...don't expect me to revise grammer or spelling on this blog...if you are a grammer fascist then look at my other blogs for proof of competency). In all American showers I have been in the shower is partitioned off in some effective manner from the rest of the bathroom...not so in Copenhagen. Imagine if you will that your bathroom just has a drain in the middle of the floor and a hand-held shower head in one corner. Sometimes there is a joke of a curtain to pull over the door (with a towel hook on the door so your towels stay comparatively dry), but basically the entire bathroom is also a shower. This has some perks...some of you will remember the episode of Seinfeld where Kramer decides to do everything in his shower...well you can do all your bathroom activities while taking a shower if that is your thing. The drawbacks are trying to keep some things dry. When you share the bedroom with a stranger you do not have the luxury of strolling around in the nude so, presumably, you wear some limited attire in and out of the bathroom (to do otherwise would be an "incident"...this is an "incident" of international cohabitation...you at least make an effort to be partially clothed at all times...I have not rundown with my roommate the "Constitution" of living with me, all incidents are punishable by forced expulsion from the premises). I have not figured out the best way to keep my clothes dry while I am showering.

The last matter pertaining to bathrooms is that of the public restroom. Here you don't have those stupid, quasi-commune, bathroom stalls...each stall is like a plot of real estate. There is a door that closes and locks, often with a hook to hang your jacket and bags on...make yourself at home. Each stall has its own sink, soap dispenser, and paper towel dispenser. I have even been in one with two rooms! Each had a door that closed and locked. You come into your first room where you have a sink, soap dispenser, and paper towel dispenser...come in here, perhaps take a break and wash your face and when you are ready, but only when you are good and ready, go into the next room. In the next room you have your toilet and a sink (I presume it is a sink, though I must admit that I have never used it because I know some cultures have additional bathroom apparatus that resemble a sink but perform other functions). I have not lived in an apartment in the last 4 years with two rooms my friends, much less seen such a bathroom! These are public bathrooms...I imagine that this is what a utopian cosmopolitan world would be full of...we would each have private two-room bathrooms everywhere we went. If things don't workout here in the apartment I plan to move into a public restroom...people in San Diego lived in public restrooms...this must be where people who live in public bathrooms in San Diego go when they die...this is public bathroom heaven.